[Raion]

Someone mentioned to me they found my rant on the Sega Saturn thread funny. I decided to rewrite and expand it where I roast every major console I've owned, and discuss the technical issues and strengths:

Nintendo Famicom/NES

A classic in its own right, but there's sure a lot of strange things under the hood. The PPU (picture processing unit) is not well optimized for its task, so you get screen edge glitching in games like SMB 3. The cartridge sizes were limited to 40 kilobytes. This is 1983 when it was first released in Japan. That's well and truly a serious limitation that causes issues. The main RAM is 2 kilobytes for things like variables, the call stack, and anything that's not readable directly from the cartridge. Certainly better than the 128 bytes on the Atari 2600, but that doesn't matter. The graphics memory is 2kb and 64 sprites, with 3-colors for each sprite. This is a limitation that many other systems do not have, but as the NES/Famicom was released in 1983 in Japan, it's somewhat understandable. There's also 256 tiles BUT the PPU only allows 8 sprites a scanline, which creates nasty flicker effects that even can be seen on a CRT. 

The sound chip isn't directly programmable, at least the first 4 channels. You have two square wave channels, a triangle channel, a noise channel, and a sample channel which is used for samples such as the GHOSTBUSTERS! shout in the NES version. This lack of flexibility, however, causes the Commodore 64 to have some  strengths that the NES does not. 

But that FLICKER. That's the biggest issue I have with playing the NES nowadays. It's so fucking annoying. Almost as annoying as the playstation warp, pop and snap that I'll cover in a future one. The NES aged HORRIBLY as it dragged on through the nineties, a lot like a necrophiliac corpse that has passed the rigor mortis stage. The memory efficiency of the PPU was incredible, but it also limited the artwork that can be done with the NES in so many ways. Try an 8x8 or 8x16 block with just a palette of three colors. It ain't fucking easy with a 240p playing area to do anything remotely colorful. 

What should I roast next?

Note, I didn't grow up with many home computers, and I don't own Acorn, Atari, Sinclair or other systems. Let's stick to consoles mostly, but I'll do the C64 because I own a bunch of 'em.

[GeekLucanis]

Dreamcast and Amiga(moreso a computer for the time, but close enough)

[Raion]

Dreamcast

Oh Dreamcast, your time was too soon... but it was very much a case of too little, too late for Sega. They ditched the more complex architecture for a single SH-4 and a PowerVR chipset that actually beats the PS2 in performance on a lot of factors. I sure do like that VGA box... IF ALL GAMES SUPPORTED IT! Fucking hell why did some developers just like go "huh, nah we don't need it!" for the VGA box??? And that controller, they and the N64 are the only two I know of with external rumble packs... like really sega? Also, this was well after the introduction of the DualShock... why not trump Sony and get two control sticks? Cost??

It didn't have a DVD drive, which moreorless hamstringed it with the PS2's launch, and then the fact that Sega left the MIL-CD loophole in place... 

C'mon Sega, you were better than this. Good console, but you should have known better.

Amiga 500



The Amiga 500 absolutely blew the pants off most of its competition at the time. It had the ability for static images to use 4096 colours, it had 4 PCM channel sound, a relatively fast and decent 68000 CPU, and a massive upgradeability. It was also tough, reliable, compact and decently spec'd.

The problem is that Commodore sat on its laurels, and didn't bother keeping the chipset up-to-date. The OCS, as it's called, was revolutionary for 1983, but not so much in 1990, much less 1994. The ECS update was a bit helpful, with more RAM addressing and some bugs fixed, and the AGA definitely was an improvement, but PCs already had VGA graphics with "chunky" support, while the Amiga was stuck on planar graphics. This caused a lot of issues with scrolling, memory copying, and increased latency for changing information, which by 1990 was simply not able to be compensated for with Copper, Blitter etc. The CPUs advanced, but the graphics didn't keep up. And commodore kept scrapping GREAT ideas, like the AAA chipset, or the Hombre, the Hombre would have used a PA-RISC architecture and had a lot of neat features. The AAA would have worked if it released on time. 

Commodore was a mismanaged company that spread itself too thin, and didn't adapt quickly enough. The Amiga 500 was great! but it didn't last. And the community today? You think the arguments between me and other people here are bad? You should see what the monkeys at Amiga.org used to do.

[pcar]

NEO-GEO

[Raion]

I've never actually owned a neo Geo but I'll give it a shot sometime

[nintendoeats]

RCA Studio II lulz

[Raion]

Neo Geo

Marketed as TWENTY-FOUR BITS. I guess that marketing department didn't get the memo about byte alignments. Anyways, it's powered by a CPU and co-processor very similar to the Mega Drive, released a year earlier. I guess that would be fine, but SIX HUNDRED AND FIFTY DOLLARS??? That's retarded, even when you consider the video hardware, plus the fact the cartridges are bigger than an OG big honkin' Gameboy! That all being said, they issued repairs to consoles and games through TWO THOUSAND AND SEVEN! Some dedication, I have to say. That's long after they left the entire industry. 

The bigger issue was, don't market your arcade hardware in the home and expect it to work. Especially not when you are marketing a car for the racetrack and then trying to get people to put it in their fucking garages. 

(Life got in the way, but I enjoyed this!)

[commodorejohn]

The Neo Geo is the console for people who want to play great two-player games at home in perfect arcade quality. The only problem is that Neo Geo owners have no friends.

[Raion]

NICE.

Can't do the RCA thingy because I know nothing...

[soviet]

The 3DO costing 699$, all the way until the EOL ?.